How do you know you’re loved?

How do you know you’re loved?

Well, according to NLP we all have our love strategies and when in a relationship its a good idea to find out how your partner knows they are loved. So whats yours?

For example, I have worked with clients that were predominantly auditory, this generally means they need to hear the words “i love you” in order to know they are loved. However, their partner may have different dominant love strategies such as kinesthetic which is a need to feel loved this could be through holding hands, intimacy and anything that has touch involved. So the problems arise when one partner is trying to let the other partner know they are loved through the wrong strategy.

Lets say your new friend has a visual love strategy? How do you let them know you really like them? Well they need proof, in the form of flowers, sunsets, gifts or a romantic getaway these are just a few examples…in a courting situation this is great knowledge to have so get creative and target those strategies!

Imagine if all you have to do is modify a few things to allow him/her to feel more connected to you.

7 steps to lasting lifestyle change


7   Steps to lasting lifestyle improvement



Assessment of your present state


How do you feel when you wake up most mornings?


Observe yourself over a week or two, what you do and how you feel, in the morning throughout the day and when you turn in for the night. Mind, body, spirit and environment all benefit from examination. Talking with your coach throughout this time is important to the process as you’re not gathering data for a diagnosis your observing your daily rituals, habits are hard to see when their our own. Your coach will provide you with the tools to monitor your day.



Foundational work on self.


Now you may have noticed things since the observation but before any change can be truly effective action must be taken to increase awareness of self on environmental, interpersonal, intrapersonal and spiritual levels. Foundational work on one’s self requires a good hard look at one’s life, not just one’s lifestyle.


 Set aside time for introspection and reflection to yield a more accurate vision of the changes that are really important to you at this time of your life. This may mean clarifying your values. And creating a vision of what the desired lifestyle looks like, sounds like and will feel like.



Setting focus


After combining the realizations and information that you gathered in stage one and two together we can now determine what you are ready, willing and able to work on now and in the near future, a wellness plan is co-created all the exploration and steps are brought together into a wellness plan. Conscious awareness and thoughtfulness is how our step by step plan is forged.



Habits and environments


Old habits are overcome by repeated, patient and persistent action, during this phase you need to develop a supportive environment for lifestyle change to occur. We need peer health norms that support healthy changes such as alliances with friends and health professionals when consistent action is required. When you begin the change process you are soon greeted with the power of habit. Lifestyles are defined by habit. Your secret weapon against habit is your coach, alliances and surroundings. Check your environment and who is in it, are they in line with your commitment to change if not, formulating a plan for when your weaknesses are tempted is a good idea.





Initial behavioral change


When you see initial success we feel great about ourselves and usually celebrate our efforts, staying consistent is often the hardest part you must realize you have probably got to this stage before but it did not last, so celebrate and acknowledge your success but stay vigilant.


Some people also tend to discount or minimize their successes, sometime without a wellness ally they don’t even recognize when they have made progress. You must record and measure your change process.



Deeper work on self


Higher levels of self-awareness, fears & loves, weaknesses and strengths are to be explored in this phase. Experiencing change even positive can bring up fear maybe a fear of loss like the old you or your circle of friends. A positive increase in setting boundaries and saying no to people can have totally unpredicted reactions by others. This can encourage self-defeating behavior and discouragement, your coach is your ally as you search for answers deep within.



Lasting behavioral/ lifestyle change


In this phase centering practices solidify and help maintain lifestyle improvements. You experience good health and celebrate your actions the benefits of change are the motivation.  Periodic re-assessment maintains awareness and identifies new areas for attention, as it is known in any change model until new behaviors become automatic like driving a car you must remain consciously aware of what you are doing, checking in with your coach every month will help. You now have experienced a better you and are being accountable to yourself who is the most important person in your life. The new love of health, energy, clarity and vitality will resonate and could inspire others too.



The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination…….until you take the journey of self-reflection.

It is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.


-Iyanta Van Zant




Work-Life Balance

Work/life balance is getting more difficult to obtain and sustain in this age of technology, providing the level of committment needed to ‘the company’ and fulfilling your role to your family as well as allowing for a social life….you also need YOU time, whats that you may ask?

When we are driven, ambitious, motivated and inspired we have a feeling of greatness, power and energy but how we can easily lose that sense of progress through over committment at work or home or both, trying to be the ‘one’ that everyone wants you to be, sounding familiar?

Your health and wellbeing are put on the back burner while you get the job done, as you think “hey its only temporary… work hard young and relax later when l have everything” yes you may get that lifestyle you want to live but at what cost?

Where did the meaning in your life go?

You now have become a thinker and forget how to feel.

My point is…. we need to keep our 3 bodies thriving, our physical, mental and spiritual bodies need consistant attention in optimizing our performance in keeping us on the path of our goals and dreams.

Rochelle Silver.



31 day Challenge rules!

Guide lines to challenge

These are some rules that Nathan & I have agreed to, whats in and whats out for us.

Please post any more that you think of!

Whats in:

Fruit – Whole meal bread – plain porridge


Whats out:

White, brown or raw sugar – processed food with sugar – wine – chocolate – white bread – juice – protien shakes – jam – condiments with sugar – Mueslie bars – Lollies…Yikes! 😉


Note: Nutri sweet products can be worse for us than sugar, stevia is a natural sweetener that can be used and has no nasties!



21 day challenge of… NO processed Sugar

Welcome to my 21 day challenge tips and hints

They say if you can give up a habit for 21 days the chances of you wanting to do it again are slim to none.

How is this so?

Well… you have created a new habit of not doing it, after 21 days your conscious mind is more aware of thinking about doing what you dont want to do!


” Good” this means youre looking for information to help you understand ….

Tips & hints

    1. Change your enviroment get rid of anything in your pantry that is largely made up of sugar, like sweet bisciuts, chocolate, lollies, cereals and so on.. the obvious and the not so obvious.
    2. Make a plan of what you will substitute these sugar laden foods with, a healthy alternative like fresh fruit, nuts, plain porridge etc
     3. Substituting sugar for artificial sweeteners is an alternative but they too can have some effects on your body if over consumed, read the labels.
    4. In your plan list the things you can do to combat the withdrawals symtoms, like keeping yourself busy, reading, gardening, going for a walk etc.
    5. Keep the end in mind like feeling better, healthier, possibly lighter, better digestion, clarity with better brain function, and remember its only 21 days! 😉
    Good luck and document your journey on how you feel throughout this change.
     ” a wealth of health”
    Rochelle Silver